Endi qayerga? 🇵🇸

Tennischining haqiqiy oʻyindagi munosabati esa endi ikki taraflama. Endi u narigi oʻyinchiga qarab, munosabatini oʻzgartiradi. Bu jarayon osonroq kechadi, chunki u devor bilan oʻzining qanaqa ekanligini bilib olgan. Mashgʻulotda qancha koʻp koptok otgan boʻlsa, oʻyinda shunchalik taktika va strategiya bilan maqsadli yoʻnaltiradi koptokni. Mashgʻulotda oʻzi haqida, harakatlari haqida bilgani sari, haqiqiy oʻyinda narigi taraf hatti harakatini iloji boricha obyektiv baholab, oʻyinda yanada hozir boʻladi.

Mijoz ham psixolog bilan hamma hislarini boʻlishib, oʻzi bilan qancha koʻp kelishib olaversa, boshqa insoniy munosabatlarda ikkinchi odamni boricha tushunish, qabul qilish shuncha osonlashadi. Soʻzlarini tanlab ishlatadi, harakatlariga ma’no kiradi. Munosabatlari haqiqatda ikki taraflama boʻla boshlaydi.

@globalstudentt

An ambiguous choice

Whether I realise it or not, I have to pay. Sometimes the loss of stability and the usual way of life, sometimes the hostility of others towards me, sometimes the anxiety of my loved ones, sometimes the complete loss of important relationships.

As in any choice, choosing myself, I refuse something or someone else - I commit some kind of betrayal, with which I then have to be somehow. When it comes to close or very significant people and things, these prices are extremely high.

And it is the willingness or unwillingness to pay them - not always realised - that becomes decisive in my choices.

It's definitely very difficult for me, but at the same time it's very clear - to leave a job that you hate, to end a relationship in which it's unbearable, to change the place of residence when there are ruins around. All this is associated with a certain point of despair. At the moment it is very painful, but by and large there is nothing to lose.

Sometimes it is despair (if you are lucky and get a little angry) that becomes a huge resource to make radical decisions, act and fundamentally change something.

I am familiar with this feeling, but much more often I encounter a more ambiguous choice.

Recently, I suddenly articulated for myself that globally I am a person of the comfort zone. I look back and realise that I was almost always ok. Not space, not bottom, but really hard ok - and that's a lot. To be able to live with a sense of sufficiency is already a serious value, I see around many examples of those for whom it is not available.

And from this follows one thing. I always have something to lose.

In a state when "everything is fine" on all points, there is essentially nothing to complain about, life is organised, and there are really a lot of good things in it, the prices for solutions are very high.

Moreover, I can't always rationally explain to myself what exactly is going wrong, what I missed - only in the background, barely perceptible itches feeling that I'm living the wrong life. I don't live.

Once it was this wording that really sobered me up. It became terribly scary for me to imagine myself in ten, twenty, fifty years, waking up in the realisation that I was not alive.

For me, self-election is about it.

These are always leaps of faith. There are risks and no guarantees. Changing something does not always equal improving it. This is closely linked to personal responsibility and my willingness or unwillingness to pay the price and deal with the consequences. I'm definitely not always ready. It can be very scary to refuse, to destroy, to demand, to leave in order to choose myself. But I really want to and I'm learning to proceed from this. I want to believe that in ten, twenty, fifty years, wherever I am, I will be able to look back and say to myself - this was my life, and it was worth it.

Author: Anna Khairadinova

What choices do you find easy and what choices are difficult? Are there choices that you are absolutely sure were right and ones that were unsuccessful? Share in the comments

@globalstudentt

Psixoterapevt mijozga, uning hislariga ana oʻsha devor vazifasini oʻtaydi, deb koʻrsak boʻlarmikan?

Bu analogiyani boshqa insonlar bilan munosabatingizda ham kuzatib koʻrish mumkin. Siz haqingizda tasavvurga ega boʻlmagan odam Sizga nisbatan har xil hislarni tuysa, fikrlar bildirsa, hislarini xuddi yuqoridagi devordek oʻziga qaytarib koʻring. Bu degani, oʻsha hislarga hech qanday munosabat bildirmasdan, Sizga ularning hislari aloqasi yoʻqligini tushunishdir.

Yanada batafsil tushuntirish mumkin, lekin boshqa safar.

@globalstudentt