cool (24 degrees), little windy, dark.
eating very dark chocolate at 4:50 am in hallowen morning - big essay to be started.
why am i not allowing myself to go chill in downtown, drinking with girls overnight?
why am i so hard on myself?
perhaps the cause is self-evident - my nature. but more profound question i am yearning for - what for?
such a big occasion that locals - who play poker 25/8 in our common room which i renamed to lasvegas - are sleeping so they aren't naturally sleepy this evening. the sleepiness this time should arise from alcohol, making love, and pumpkin horrors.
yet here i am, listening to philosophy office hour i had with prof that reminds me plato to help students develop their essays. now, like usually happens, tho often unsuccessfully, i suppress my instincts to search for meaning in my activities and go back to white, blank docs. if i could take in at least one draft, one page from the second volume of Dead Souls which Gogol burned down, I'd go to sleep.
eating very dark chocolate at 4:50 am in hallowen morning - big essay to be started.
why am i not allowing myself to go chill in downtown, drinking with girls overnight?
why am i so hard on myself?
perhaps the cause is self-evident - my nature. but more profound question i am yearning for - what for?
such a big occasion that locals - who play poker 25/8 in our common room which i renamed to lasvegas - are sleeping so they aren't naturally sleepy this evening. the sleepiness this time should arise from alcohol, making love, and pumpkin horrors.
yet here i am, listening to philosophy office hour i had with prof that reminds me plato to help students develop their essays. now, like usually happens, tho often unsuccessfully, i suppress my instincts to search for meaning in my activities and go back to white, blank docs. if i could take in at least one draft, one page from the second volume of Dead Souls which Gogol burned down, I'd go to sleep.