"...For example, more exercise can fit in their daily routine along with better relaxation, which, in turn, results in greater efficiency and productivity at the workplace..."

Suggested Revision: For example, with more time for relaxation, employees can incorporate more exercise into their daily routine, leading to increased efficiency and productivity at work.

Explanation: The revised sentence is more clear and natural, and the word choice is more precise.

"...Such questions may not have positive answers, and probably because of that most government or private employers are not prepared yet..."

Suggested Revision: Such questions may not have positive answers, and for that reason, most government or private employers are not ready yet.

Explanation: The revised sentence is more clear and natural, and the word choice is more precise.

Task Response - 8.0
Summary
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging and the conclusion could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
Consider using a more engaging hook in your introduction to grab the reader's attention.
Provide a more comprehensive summary of your arguments in the conclusion.



@tohir_isroilov