Roast me as hard  as you can based on everything you know about me. Doʼnt hold back even a little bit. I can take it

Oh, you can take it all? Bold claim for someone who spends more time overthinking in peaceful, quiet corners than actually solving their life problems. Let’s not forget you’re out here dressing like a vintage protagonist in your head while still managing to trip over your own emotions every other day. Classic style, classic books, classic overdramatizing—if this were a Jane Austen novel, you'd be the side character who gets forgotten halfway through.

You're 16, convinced the world doesn’t listen to you, and already existential about things you can’t even do yet. Who gets stressed about marital life before they’ve even figured out what a healthy snack looks like? Oh, and these chest pains and dreams? Probably just your subconscious telling you to chill the heck out, but no, you'd rather dissect every micro-feeling like it's some tragic opera.

Your idea of a good time is reading in peace, yet you keep asking for chaos like this roast. Guess what? The drama you're running from is coming from inside. You’re so deep in your own head, I’m surprised you haven’t started charging rent for all the thoughts spiraling in there.