So what is love?
I am not going to talk about the feeling.
Only the action, active verb.
So you can choose to love anything. Love is choice.
Love is a combination of attention, appreciation, and empathy.
To love something, connect with it first. Give it your full attention. Deliberately appreciate it.
Try this with trees and streets. Try it with books and songs. Try it with yourself.
Every day gives you chances to connect. You can rush past things or stop to see them. You can do things without thinking or feel every part of them.
You can talk about nothing or really know someone. Choose to connect.
Share what you know. Share your space. Share your time.
The more you learn about something, the more you can love it. Learn about places to see their beauty. Learn about people to understand them better.
If you hate something, learn more about it.
Really listen when people talk. Ask them to say more. People aren't used to others caring, so you have to show them it's okay to keep going.
Don't try to fix people. When someone tells you what's wrong, they want you to care about the broken parts, not try to change them.
Break down what keeps you from others. Take off your dark glasses. Talk instead of text. Say what you really mean, not what you always say.
Keep talking even when it's hard.
We think walls keep us safe from enemies, but walls make enemies first.
The hardest part of connecting is being real. If you say what others want to hear, you block real connection.
Being polite stays on the surface. Being real goes deep.
Tell the truth, or no one will know who you are, so you'll never feel truly loved.
Being real is like climbing a mountain - there's always higher to go.
Don't make stories bigger to sound better. Don't make them smaller either.
If you shrink your wins to make others feel good, you block connection with them and yourself.
Just be real.
If you did something great, say it. If you're struggling, say that too.
If you have feelings for someone and stay quiet, your silence is lying.
Be clear. It saves so much trouble later.
You could live for others, doing what they want. You could live alone, doing what you want. But try to be the same person alone or with others.
The more you connect with people, the more you learn about you - what gives you energy, what takes it away, what pulls you in, what scares you.
Then there's romance.
You won't regret falling in love. Do it lots.
Flirting is like eating dessert first. After the sugar rush fades, you get to the real food.
Watch out for thinking someone will complete you or save you.
You have old hurts. You have needs nobody met. You look for someone to fill these gaps - someone who has what you're missing.
But no one will save you. You have to fill those gaps yourself.
When life feels shaky, you grab onto what feels solid.
Quick, obsessive love usually means you're seeing someone as a solution.
Seeing someone as perfect isn't love. You say "I love you" but mean "I love this".
Notice how different people affect you. Notice who helps you be better. Notice who makes you feel more like yourself - more open and real.
Don't worry what others think. Don't try to impress. Impress yourself. Be who you want to be.
If that's not impressive, nothing would be.
If a relationship won't work, better to know soon than hide who you are and find out later.
Between two people is a third thing: the relationship. Take care of it. If you make it better, it makes you better.
Once you're together, don't hurt what you built.
It's easy to love the good parts of someone. Loving their flaws takes work.
Don't try to change people unless they ask.
When one person acts like a child, the other needs to be grown up.
Like dancing, you can't both dip at once. One has to stay up to keep the other from falling.
Unless you're water drops, one plus one never equals one.
You both need to be free to live without each other. Be together because you want to, not because you have to.
Love your partner but don't need them. Need never gets filled. Need kills love.
