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Rebuttal Approach 1.pdf
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Today's lesson. The essay topic was hard, but I think I wrote a good essay without relying on ideas from chatGPT or other sources.




Long distance flight consumes the amount of fuel that a car uses for many years and pollutes the air. Some people think that we should discourage non-essential flights, such as tourists travel, rather than limit the use of cars.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Today, I am gonna write an essay on this topic above, using a rebuttal approach.

I'll do it the chat group. If interested, join. If not, take care!
https://t.me/+_3pqtl8t7po3Y2I6




For the first time in my life, I'm gonna have a video chat with you. If you join, we will write reports and essays for four days: ⬇️

Today: Task 1 - a comparative graph

19.02: Task 2 - rebuttal approach 1

20.02: Task 1 - a change graph

21.02: Task 2 - rebuttal approach 2


#Writing #Tools
I've collected the best vocabulary for: ⬇️

● Problems
● Solutions
● Effects
● Reasons


Now, you don’t need to learn any other alternatives! Feel free to share this post!!! βœ”οΈ

P.S. I've written what I believe to be the most useful Task 1 and Task 2 books, and I’ve been sharing some pages from them. Once I achieve a band 9.0, I’ll put them up for sale.


#Writing #CoherenceCohesion

These are my favorite cohesive devices and some high-level sentence structures. βœ”οΈ
#BeSmart #SaveTime


#Task_1 #Overview #Challenge

● Book sales
● Overweight people
● Patient numbers
● Maps
● Travel purposes
● Car production
● Food consumption
● Number of conferences
● World population
● Tunnels
● GDP allocation
● Maps
● Money spending + age
● Survey
● Plans


#Day_15 #Overview #Plans

Task: The plans show the changes that have taken place in a bookstore.

My overview: ⬇️

Overall, despite the reshuffle, all sections are still functioning. Of a particular note, the bookstore has become more visitor-friendly at the expense of introducing a cafe and several tables.

Chat: 7.5.

➑️Improvements Needed:
Slight lack of precision regarding the reshuffle (which areas changed and how).
The phrase "all sections are still functioning" is somewhat vague and could be more specific.

➑️Grammar and Precision Check
"Of a particular note" β†’ should be "Of particular note."
"at the expense of introducing a cafe and several tables" β†’ The phrase implies a negative consequence, which might not fit well here. Consider a neutral or positive tone.

➑️Objectively Interpreted Version
"Overall, the bookstore has undergone a significant reorganization, with the addition of a cafΓ© and seating area being the most notable change, making it more inviting for visitors."


#Day_14 #Overview #Change

Task: The line chart showes the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country.

My overview: ⬇️

Overall, job seekers accounted for the largest number of migrants over the timeframe, while the highest increase was observed in the number of peope pursuing education. The minority of survey participants reported that their motive was to visit their family or friends and take adventure. (Band 7.0)

Chat: Band 9.0 version

"Overall, the number of people moving for employment and study increased substantially from 2000 to 2015, with employment becoming the leading reason by the end of the period. In contrast, the figures for moving due to family/friends and adventure remained relatively stable, with adventure showing the smallest rise."

This focuses on key trends and avoids interpreting static features like this one as trends or increases over time.


#Day_13 #Overview #Static

Overall, people in three out of four age groups spent money largely at restaurants, except for the youngest people who prioritized music concerts. The amount of money expended on cinema was more or less equal for all age demographic, with the second group spending slightly more.

Chat: 8.0/8.5/8.0/8.5

Task Achievement (8.0):
Strengths: You identify the key trendβ€”restaurant spending dominating in most age groups, while music concerts are the priority for the youngest group.
Weaknesses:
"More or less equal" is vague; the specific range of spending should be clearer.
"Slightly more" could be quantified for better precision.

Coherence and Cohesion (8.5):
- Logical flow with good use of connectors like "except" and "with."
- Could improve cohesion by linking "age groups" and "spending" more consistently.

Lexical Resource (8.0):
- Effective phrases like "largely at restaurants" and "prioritized music concerts."
- "Expended" sounds less natural compared to "spent," and - "age demographic" could be simplified to "age group" for clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (8.5):
- Good range of sentence structures.
- Minor accuracy issue: "people in three out of four age groups" should align grammatically with "except for the youngest," which suggests they are not part of the same comparison.

Revised Overview: ⬇️
"Overall, spending on restaurants was the highest in three out of four age groups, while the youngest group spent the most on music concerts. In contrast, cinema spending remained relatively stable across all age groups, with the 26–39 group recording the highest amount."


#Day_12 #Overview #Maps

Me: Overall, the park has become more accessible by completely removing the walls and two gates. Additionally, the park is equipped with picnic facilities, allowing visitors to enjoy the nature and meals simultaneously. However, these changes necessitated cutting down flowers and some trees, making it less leafy.

Chat: 8.5
Task Achievement (8.5):
- You clearly mention the removal of walls and gates, the addition of picnic facilities, and the reduction of greenery.
- Focus on significant changes is evident.
Weaknesses:
- "Less leafy" lacks clarity; the decrease in trees/flowers could be stated more explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion (8.5):
- Well-structured overall, with logical connectors like "Additionally" and "However."

Lexical Resource (8.5):
- Phrases like "necessitated cutting down" and "equipped with picnic facilities" are strong.
- "Enjoy nature and meals simultaneously" is effective.
- However, "leafy" feels slightly informal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (8.5):
- Great variety in sentence structures.
- Minor improvement possible in conciseness: "allowing visitors to enjoy the nature and meals" could drop "the" for accuracy.

Revised Overview: ⬇️
"Overall, the park has been significantly transformed to enhance accessibility, with the complete removal of walls and gates. It now offers picnic tables and barbecue facilities, creating a more versatile recreational space. However, these changes have come at the expense of greenery, as several flowers and trees were removed, making the park less dense in vegetation."


#Day_11 #Overview #Static

Overall, France had the highest amount of investment in healthcare services among given developed countries, while the only Asian country listed – Japan – reported the least amount of allocation. In all countries, the substantial percentage of investment was derived from public funding rather than private sector, signifying the significant public contribution.

Chat: This overview is well-structured, but here’s some feedback: ⬇️

Band 8.0 - Analysis:
- Clear comparison and appropriate use of superlatives ("highest," "least").
- Good cohesion with linking phrases ("In all countries").
- Sophisticated vocabulary ("allocation," "substantial percentage").

Minor Issues:
- "Signifying the significant" feels repetitive. You could vary the word choice.
- "The only Asian country listed – Japan" is accurate but a bit wordy.

Suggested Revision for Band 9.0:
Overall, France invested the highest percentage of GDP in healthcare services, while Japan allocated the lowest. In all countries, the majority of healthcare spending came from public funding, highlighting its crucial role.


#Day_10 #Overview #Diagram

Me: In general, Tunnel B, which is relatively new, received twice as much funding as Tunnel A. This is reflected in their overall capacity, with Tunnel B being significantly larger. One similarity is that both are twin-tube tunnels.

Chat: Your overview is quite clear and effective! Here’s the breakdown: ⬇️

● Task Achievement: 9.0
- It highlights key trends (funding, size, and similarity).
● Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
- Logical flow, and the sentences link well.
● Lexical Resource: 8.5
- Phrasing like "received twice as much funding" and "reflected in its overall capacity" is great.
- Minor improvement could be replacing "significantly larger" with something more precise like "substantially larger."
● Grammar: 9.0
- Very solid.


#Day_9 #Overview #Change

Me: Slightly informal yet objective ⬇️

Overall, China and India dominated the world population figures throughout, but India is expected to take the lead by 2050. Meanwhile, the USA and Japan showed much smaller percentages, with both projected to decline further.

Chat: More formal version ⬇️

Overall, China and India accounted for the largest shares of the global population, with India expected to surpass China by 2050. In contrast, the USA and Japan had relatively small proportions, both of which are projected to decline.

Both can pull off a band 9.0.


#Day_8 #Overview #Change

Me: Overall, City C, while it hosted none in the initial year, became home to international conferences. The other two cities mirrored each other in the number of conferences, trending downward after some fluctuation.


Feedback by chat: ⬇️

Your overview would likely score a Band 9.0.

● Task Achievement (Band 9):
- Fully covers the key features of the chart.
- The summary is clear, concise, and well-organized without unnecessary details.
- No inaccuracies or irrelevant information.

● Coherence and Cohesion (Band 9):
- Logical progression with well-connected ideas.
- "While it hosted none" and "mirrored each other" are excellent cohesive devices.

● Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Band 9):
- No grammar errors.
- Good control over complex sentence structures and article usage.

● Lexical Resource (High Band 8.5-9):
- Precise vocabulary (e.g., "home," "mirrored," "trending downward").
- Natural word choice with no awkward phrasing.

It’s simple, yet sophisticatedβ€”perfect for an IELTS examiner!


#Day_7 #Overview #Change

Me: Overall, the consumption levels of almost all food items increased over twenty years, except for meat which experienced a mild fluctuation. The grams of consumed vegetables and meat were higher than that of others, which had only three digit figures.

Chat: Overall, the consumption of most food items increased over the two decades, with vegetables remaining the most consumed category. While meat intake initially rose, it declined slightly by 2012. Notably, all other food groups saw consistent growth, though their consumption levels remained significantly lower than those of vegetables and meat.


Key Improvements: ⬇️

● "Mild fluctuation" β†’ "initially rose, but declined slightly by 2012" (More precise; meat didn’t fluctuate but peaked in 2002 and then fell.)
● "The grams of consumed vegetables and meat were higher than that of others" β†’ "vegetables remained the most consumed category" (More natural phrasing.)
● "Which had only three-digit figures" β†’ "though their consumption levels remained significantly lower" (Smoother phrasing without the need to mention three-digit figures explicitly.)


#Day_6 #Overview #Change

Me: Overall, Argentina and Thailand increased car manufacture, with the latter making more than two times more cars than the othersΒ  in all recorded years. However, the reverse is true for Australia. Notably, the record number of cars were made in Thailand in 2006, exceeding a million units.

Chat:
Overall, car production increased in Argentina and Thailand, with the latter consistently manufacturing more than twice as many vehicles as the other two countries. In contrast, Australia experienced a steady decline. Notably, Thailand recorded the highest output in 2006, surpassing one million units.

Improvements Made: ⬇️

● "Making more than two times more cars" β†’ "manufacturing more than twice as many vehicles" (More natural and academic phrasing)
● "The reverse is true for Australia" β†’ "Australia experienced a steady decline" (More direct and precise)
● "The record number of cars were made in Thailand in 2006" β†’ "Thailand recorded the highest output in 2006" (More formal and varied wording)


#Day_5 #Overview #Static

Me: Overall, the majority of passengers at three of the four airports traveled primarily to visit friends and family, with the exception of Gatwick, where holidaymakers made up the largest share. Heathrow stood out for its relatively higher percentage of business trips compared to other airports.

Chat: Overall, the majority of passengers at three of the four airports primarily traveled to visit friends and family, except for Gatwick, where holidaymakers accounted for the largest proportion. Heathrow recorded the highest percentage of business travelers, making it distinct from the other airports.


Why is this an improvement?
- Uses precise, academic wording!

"Accounted for the largest proportion" β†’ Sounds more precise and formal than "made up the largest share."
"Recorded the highest percentage" β†’ More academic and neutral than "stood out for."


#Day_4 #Overview #Maps

Me: Overall, the sports center has expanded and now hosts more sporting facilities for students. These changes, however, came at the cost of the leafy environment and car park that were present previously.

Chat: The university sports center has undergone a significant transformation, with a shift from open spaces to a more developed complex featuring additional sporting facilities. The expansion has come at the expense of the green park and parking area, indicating a focus on maximizing recreational infrastructure.

What Makes the Band 9.0 Overview Better?

βœ”οΈ More sophisticated vocabulary (e.g., "transformation," "recreational infrastructure")
βœ”οΈ Avoids direct listing of what was added/removed, making it smoother
βœ”οΈ Stronger interpretation (not just stating what changed, but hinting at why)

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