New Yorker

We don’t owe anyone anything:

One of the things that society or people on social media did well was convincing people (parents/children) that they owe things to each other like a debt. Which in its place removes purity, unconditional love from these relationships.

The way I see it is that when people gift things, show kindness or some goodness of its sort to their parents as a payback for their so-called debt, what they are saying is that those parents did these things as a debt (investment) expecting you will pay back one day. Which sometimes doesn’t relate to what those parents said when doing those goodness to you. There are many nuances and details that comes with this, but I am just giving a subtle thinking exercise for you, have you ever asked what their (parents) intentions were when doing good to you?

Is this what unconditional love is or are we just a good investment target for our parents?

I wouldn’t be here:

Occasionally and that is sometimes over the weekends that makes me think to a level I thank, hate, love,respect and depress myself and my actions.

Thank: I wouldn’t be here if I chose to not talk out my future (education) with my parents that New Year’s day that urged me to apply to a private school in Tashkent. I wouldn’t be here If I couldn’t manage independency properly. I wouldn’t be here If I chose to sleep that day when it was 2 hours left to submit NYU Application.

Hate: Usually hate comes from the things I cannot control or from not understanding the people I love. Outgrowing your people is one of the ridiculously tough things. Imagine talking to your people and you simply don’t understand them or just not enjoy the conversation anymore. It seems as if it is not going anywhere but only greetings while you long for the deep connections and conversations and they simply cannot deliver.

Love (self-respect): Treating myself as a character and respecting that character. Taking care of him, making him busy to build himself and speaking up. I am glad that I learned how to speak up to people who make ironic jokes, cuts my words in between or indirectly disrespects me.

Depress: To the uncertain future which makes me feel the emptiness and confidence break that I always remind myself of. It is not the end. It was also not the end when I was 14 and learning English barely dreaming of a top-notch education. Look at me now and you will look at me the same in that uncertain future.

You will have problems until you have a health problem, after that you only have one problem.

Nothing will compensate for your suffering when you forgot to take care of yourself in pursuit of career, academics and social life.

Take care of yourselves with good sleep, healthy diet, regular exercise and supplements.

You grow when you realize there is no one backing you:

I am one of the luckiest person to have no one backing me up to a sense and I see this as a luck instead of an unfortunate thing.

Reason for that being is that when I moved to Tashkent, leaving my family (That was a big thing back in the day) I realized that I have to study hard, talk to people that I don’t know, take care of myself, know my way, spend money wisely or else I had to go back to Andijan where I cannot grow as quickly as if I were in Tashkent. That pushed me to work even harder since the counter way was going home. I didn’t know a single person that could help me in achieving my goals.

What I did was doing the uncomfortable, talk to people, create those awkward moments after saying how are you and knowing them better. I was an introvert back then or extrovert that hasn’t been discovered yet. A lot of people and I say it, coming from villages or countrysides like me are mostly undiscovered extroverts who find it weird to reach out to people or just to keep a normal convo with a stranger.

After realizing that it is either doing the uncomfortable or going home, I chose the former. Stayed, Learned, Discovered, Conquered. After a year, I found my people, my network that pushed me to the place where I am now.

But would it happen if I was “lucky” in a sense to have let’s say relative (GUY) that happens to be in Tashkent that could help me with breathing in the city.

My answer is a big NO. I would take him for granted and stay in my zone not differentiating between Home and Tashkent since someone’s got my back (Parents/The GUY). I would always largely depend on someone to help me with breathing.

I agree that having people like the GUY is helpful but not for personal growth.

This perception was developed over a period of observations and Next time you see yourself dependent on smb, Remember you are not at HOME anymore. It is always better to be out, grow and miss home then be home and not grow.

Another DCF model I built for Bidu (reports financial statements in CNY but trades in USD)

This model handles two currencies with the conversion of CNY in USD for the last six months when the model was built.

Model was presented as 12 months investment plan for long position. Growth assumptions are derived from AI development, Inventory cost cut (NVDA chips), Cloud and the autonomous tech.

Price as of DCF built-up - $85.4
Price as of now - $93.05
8.96% price up (return)

(Not a investment recommendation, only for learning purposes)

If IB doesn’t work out, I can always go to Dagestan.

“Recruiting for a job is a full-time job”

Mac vs Windows

I am not sure if I am in my adjustment phase or not but Windows has a lot of bugs and lagging especially when you have 6+ tabs and files open. I also receive updates like every 2 days.

If Mac had the actual windows keyboard or the shortcuts for excel like Windows, I would definitely continue using it.