The definition of first love...?!
There is an experiment. A baby monkey was isolated from his mother at birth. After that, he was given two other fake mothers who were made of wire and cloth. The fake wire mother had the ability to do nursing him with her milk, and the second cloth mother did not have this ability. The only thing she had was that she was a bit more cuddly. Some time has passed, and experimentors let the baby monkey go outside and choose a mother. At first, he went to the wire mother because he was hungry. After he got his milk, he immediately turned around and jumped to his cloth mother. He cuddled, kissed, showed his need to get emotional response and safety. Then, the baby monkey was exposed to outside danger, they made him get scared and monitor the results. He again went to his cloth mother to get safety. Why is so? Why he did not go to the wire mother who could feed him?
The first person we tend to build a special bond is our mothers. Even though sometimes they don't have the ability to do nursing, we still love them from early on. Because they show care at all costs. When babies get uncomfortable, they cry. Most of the time, mothers are the first person who cuddles, soothers, and gives first emotional support. This is why we love them. Their love is not about providing our basic needs. Everyone can do that. But bonding and building a secure attachment is their key to earn our love. Mothers, are indeed, our first love in most cases.
Same goes for any kind of love. We don't love someone for the fact that they can provide our basic needs fully. We love people for their care, their love, support. We love people because we know that they are by our side in times of struggle, danger, discomfort, pain. Because humans are hardwired to social interactions. It is in our genes, history, and everything. We cannot deny this fact. Therefore, we always seek for secure base and safe haven from people we love.
@MinnesotanPeggy
There is an experiment. A baby monkey was isolated from his mother at birth. After that, he was given two other fake mothers who were made of wire and cloth. The fake wire mother had the ability to do nursing him with her milk, and the second cloth mother did not have this ability. The only thing she had was that she was a bit more cuddly. Some time has passed, and experimentors let the baby monkey go outside and choose a mother. At first, he went to the wire mother because he was hungry. After he got his milk, he immediately turned around and jumped to his cloth mother. He cuddled, kissed, showed his need to get emotional response and safety. Then, the baby monkey was exposed to outside danger, they made him get scared and monitor the results. He again went to his cloth mother to get safety. Why is so? Why he did not go to the wire mother who could feed him?
The first person we tend to build a special bond is our mothers. Even though sometimes they don't have the ability to do nursing, we still love them from early on. Because they show care at all costs. When babies get uncomfortable, they cry. Most of the time, mothers are the first person who cuddles, soothers, and gives first emotional support. This is why we love them. Their love is not about providing our basic needs. Everyone can do that. But bonding and building a secure attachment is their key to earn our love. Mothers, are indeed, our first love in most cases.
Same goes for any kind of love. We don't love someone for the fact that they can provide our basic needs fully. We love people for their care, their love, support. We love people because we know that they are by our side in times of struggle, danger, discomfort, pain. Because humans are hardwired to social interactions. It is in our genes, history, and everything. We cannot deny this fact. Therefore, we always seek for secure base and safe haven from people we love.
@MinnesotanPeggy